


The Day He Died

by APHMamaBear



Series: Insomnia Series [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Insanity, Suicide, War, death from war, slam poem/story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 16:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1311244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/APHMamaBear/pseuds/APHMamaBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When her husband dies in war Madeline does not know what to do with herself anymore. This story loosely explores the months in which a fragile mind can unfold with a major loss of a loved one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day He Died

**Author's Note:**

> Song to go with story:  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo

——-

Now I’m bound by the life you left behind  
Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me

—

—-

The Day my Husband died was the day that I died.

He was deployed Four months ago, and in my last month of pregnancy he died of a wound to the head. A fellow soldier told that he jumped in front of him to save him.

 

I clutched the locket I gave him before he left for the war.

 

I was so angry.

With me.

With him.

With every one

Even my unborn child.

 

I didn’t want him anymore, the thought of him sickened me and I would cry every night.

A mother should never think of such things…

 

I never stopped wearing the shade of Black.

 

-

 

A week later our child was born and I didn’t want to look at it.

Until it started to cry and I whipped my head around, and demanded for him to be placed in my arms.

 

He looks just like his father.

 

“What’s his name?” the doctor asked.

 

I told them his name would be Jan, after his father.

Because, we were never really able to discuss about a name.

 

It was always a stupid argument over something Canadian like or Dutch.

 

I miss the arguments.

 

I miss Him.

 

And holding our child in my arms, just makes me miss him more.

 

It was as if this child of ours… was a silhouette in the wind.

 

A being that only existed to remind me only of the dead.

 

-

 

A month had passed. And I stopped caring about myself.

 

This child was everything.

 

-

 

I stopped eating a healthy amount in the third months. Watching the wallpaper in our bedroom. The tulips.

 

For once.

 

It was ugly.

 

-

 

His Sister had asked to visit since the birth… but I always sad no.

Until today. Months upon months later.

When I realized I needed her more than anyone.

 

It was as if my mind was starting to snap in half.

 

But when she came, my son was walking… he could talk.

 

But he still couldn’t understand why his mother had broken down and cried in front of a woman he had never seen before.

And that woman had only said hello.

 

I told her to take him.

And never let him see me again.

 

She argued at first, until I made her.

She asked his name.

I’ve never seen her frown before.

 

-

 

I could here his voice in my head…

Screaming at me from a distance…

 

There was sand in his mouth.

 

-

I sat in front of that wallpaper every day. The one with the tulips.

Watching how faces would haunt through it.

His face.

Our child’s face.

 

My own, which screamed dying to get free.

So I tore at it… but it died every night, and was reborn every morning.

 

I could never set her free… even after there was a bare wall.

 

-

 

The only person I’ve seen was His sister.

There were phone calls, banging on door.

But I refused. I had Four extra locks on the door to be sure.

 

But then, there was one day I stopped answering the phone at all.

And soon after, the ringing… those blasted clinking of bells to my neck and ear never stopped, then there were people at my door.

 

They broke it down.

 

My family… His family… our friends.

 

-

 

There was a click.

A loud noise.

 

The Day he died, was the day I died.

**Author's Note:**

> the idea of the wallpaper came from the short story "the Yellow Wallpaper" it's a great read, 100% suggest.
> 
> For those who may not understand the ending  
> it literally was a year, and the day he dies was the day Madeline's family and his tried to save her by breaking down her door.
> 
> Danerlands is my tumblr


End file.
